In type Time Meet Life Partner by Free marital website

In a mix of years on-line marital websites have end up to be a buzzing hotspot supposed for those looking for a life partner or square measure being attentive in geological dating. marital sites square measure today the saving refinement for a good deal of young  people UN agency have frantic work lives and pay primarily of their occasions on-line. Consequently if persons cannot discover love on the counter adjacent to them then they’ll fully hope for find love on-line. marital websites move towards by means that of a bunch of benefits that make love realism for those that square measure loose.
Find the fantastic partner-
The principal motive for the augmentation of marital websites is that the choice of obtaining persons. And not currently persons however the correct individuals, marital websites allow persons to find the life partner they sense is appropriate to pay a lifetime by means that of. A marital web site provides the freedom to become buddies 1st and then go on to a spread of heights of associations. The investigation for a life partner turns into extraordinarily interactive and participating on one occasion a possible bride or prepare has signed up for AN account. the instant one logs within the seek for starts.
Open personal platform
A marital web site is {an extraordinarily|a particularly|a very|an especially} platform to go looking for a life partner additionally to nevertheless it’s extremely personal. a private doesn’t need to moving towards nose-poking relations or managers to find an individual. A marital on-line web site offers a good deal of independence moreover as freedom to take care of apparent.
An individual will recover persons in keeping with one’s age, lifestyle, nature and the other favorite. Single will simply chat or send memorandum to start a discussion, exchange contact numbers and communicate to extra discussion.
It turns into untroubled to talk to somebody bigger than the phone or in way over instant electronic communication in situ of a physical meeting right at the initial time. It offers plenty extra space to grasp and recognizing an individual.
Better communication
Messaging, writing and line of work to at least one another releases up the communication that guides to plenty cozy conferences and an individual discovers it straightforward to speak by means that of the previous. This builds it straightforward to talk to at least one another if the couple charts to gets along. There square measure smaller anxieties. an individual is well-ready for what’s running.
Speaking to an individual and staying in handle moreover assists appreciate somebody’s culture and family costs. Still the tactic an individual offers his or her profile, the kind of images one allocates talks an outsized variety concerning the person.
Be documented to plenty of potential partners
A wed web site is AN entrance to enter the planet of a whole bunch or could also be scores of potential partners. Single currently has got to place some filters with reference to what one is looking during a partner.
For instance a lady could also be looking a person UN agency is five feet eleven creeps, likes to browse, pursues Christianity, could be a modest conservative, extravagances ladies justly and could be a robust willed guy UN agency wishes sports.
A person might spot preferences like solely Muslim ladies, UN agency track Islam religiously, square measure atiny low outgoing, assume sharing responsibilities additionally to should be equipped to measure exterior India.


Marriage Celebrant: the proper One for You

Marriage is that the most unforgettable day of your life. it’s a public expression of the foremost precious blessing from God, the one that you love turning into yours forever. it’s most precious and delightful of all the gifts. The love that you just share for each other is expressed through this auspicious ceremony. A civil celebrant in state capital can supply the liberty to specific this love in your own distinctive and special method. a wedding celebrant is a private UN agency is certified to solemnize a wedding between 2 individuals, UN agency need to require their like to consecutive level that’s commitment.

A celebrant will provide you with variety of suggestions to change you to compile you marriage ceremony that’s a mirrored image of your own views and believes of wedding. Perhaps, this is often a significant advantage of wedding celebrants; you’ll be able to espouse in your own personal vogue, while not having to adapt to church rules or traditions. As one or two, you’ve got the liberty to style your own bridal ceremony. You and your idolised ones can understand the which means behind the words and also the love expressed through those words.

Finding a wedding celebrant will be a challenge. One has got to perceive that it’s a private thought. it’s essential that a private, with all the best qualities, per the happy couple is chosen. the foremost vital call in reference to your wedding is that of a wedding celebrant. Thus, confirm that the celebrant UN agency solemnizes your wedding per law and assists within the making the proper ceremony shares you values and most significantly, your which means of affection and commitment.

A professional wedding celebrant in Tasmania ought to adhere to the €Code of follow for wedding celebrants’. This code of follow includes pointers that square measure enshrined within the wedding Act. the rules square measure a guide to the roles and responsibilities of a wedding celebrant. the rules can tell them a way to conduct themselves at a marriage and plenty additional. Here square measure some essential options of an expert wedding celebrant in state capital

1. A celebrant is registered and without delay willing to supply their registration details
2. They live by sturdy and real values
3. they’re friendly, approachable and smart natured
4. will communicate clearly and overtly
5. Active listeners and provides the couple full and undivided attention throughout all interactions
6. can communicate concerning the assorted events of a marriage and confirm you recognize what’s needed from you
7. Answers all of your queries and offers AN honest and prompt opinion concerning varied things at a marriage.
Now, that you just what you would like, confirm that get the most effective celebrant for the ceremony.


9 Allhallows Eve Wedding Theme Favors

Not everybody elects to possess a standard wedding. Some love the fun and excitement of Allhallows Eve and wish to share their favorite vacation with others with a wedding ceremony. rather like those “trick or treaters” that hit door, your wedding guests conjointly be a special treat. Here square measure nine ideas for wedding favors that you just will gift to your guests once celebrating your Allhallows Eve themed wedding.

Trick or Treat baggage

Since it’s Allhallows Eve, fill tiny paper trick or treat baggage with the orange foil coated chocolate pumpkins and alternative candies.

Halloween Candles

You can purchase some terribly attention-grabbing wrought Allhallows Eve candles during a sort of shapes and sizes (like pumpkins, ghosts, haunted homes, etc.). finish off in orange net and tie with black wavy ribbon.

Cauldron of Pumpkins

Fill small, black plastic cauldrons with orange foil-wrapped chocolate pumpkins.

Pumpkin Jars

If you are on the dodgy facet, create candy crammed pumpkin jars. First, you will need to gather some baby food jars. Paint pumpkins round the glass with craft paint. cowl the highest with orange felt and glue 2 felt leaves to the highest. Add atiny low piece of dowel pin, painted brown, for a stem. Fill the jar with candies.

Orange web Favors

Cut 6″ circles of net in orange and black colours. Place either candies or atiny low consecrate candle in every circle. Gather and tie off with the other color of ribbon. (Orange ribbon, black net and black ribbon, orange net.)

Wizard’s Wand

Buy 1″ diameter dowels and remove 12″ lengths. Paint dowels a deep purple. Apply gold stickers in shapes of stars, moon and sun. Seal with acrylic sealer. Add gold and purple streamers tied to at least one finish. Attach a favor tag together with your names and wedding date that says: “The power of our love creates a wizardly world. many thanks for connection America during this mystical night.”

Witches Broom

Buy tiny straw brooms (available in craft stores). Wrap black and orange ribbon down the handle and tie a black bow simply on top of the broom. Add some fall coloured silk leaves and dried flowers tucked in and affixed round the bow.

Pumpkin Butter

Purchases tiny jars of pumpkin butter. It’s like pie during a jar and it’s nice on biscuits and whacky.

Miniature Pumpkin Pies

Check with an area baker to check if you may have miniature pumpkin pies created. Wrap in cellphane and tie with orange/black ribbons. Simple, distinctive and delicious!


Replacing Your Lost Wedding Ring

Imagine it’s Halloween evening and you’ve just gone to the door to greet another eager child with your big bag of trick-or-treat candy. You look down at the grinning costumed child with a smile and share some kind words as you throw a generous handful of tasty treats into his bag.

After the happy child leaves, you plop back down on the comfy sofa and continue watching your favorite TV show until you decide to go into the kitchen for a snack.

Just as you’re reaching for the milk, you realize with horror that your wedding ring is gone! In a panicked state you search the whole house for the ring, but find no trace of it anywhere. After retracing your steps, you realize that the last time you saw your ring was right before you handed out the candy to that little boy with the adorable costume on.

My gosh! You’ve just given your precious wedding ring to a 7-year old boy without a clue as to who he is or where he lives.

Maybe this sounds far-fetched but a similar incident recently happened to a Massachusetts woman during Halloween. That little boy’s candy bag contained something way more valuable than Hershey bars.

Fortunately, her hometown police were able to track the child down and return her wedding ring without too much trouble.

But what if you’re not so lucky?

Sometime wedding rings slip off and become lost down drainpipes, sewers, on public transportation, while walking in the park, while on vacation, etc.

For someone who’s lost their wedding ring, it’s often a heart-wrenching experience. Because a wedding ring represents a lifetime commitment between you and your mate, it may feel like you’ve lost something irreplaceable. After all, that’s the ring that was slipped on your finger when you said “I do.”

While it’s true that the emotional attachment that you feel for your original ring will always be with you in your heart, at some point, you’ll probably feel the need to purchase another wedding ring to continue honoring your marriage and partnership.

Buying a new wedding ring may even be cathartic. You and your partner could have a little celebration after you buy your new wedding ring just to reaffirm that the sweet romance you still feel for each other can never be lost.

Merrily Wedding Rings, Türkiye ve Uluslararası pazarda alyans tek taş pırlanta, nişan yüzükleri en yeni modelleri ve çarpıcı fiyat etiketleri ile 2014’te de üretimden halka arza devam etmektedir.


What Is A Destination Wedding Favor?

Have you heard of destination wedding favors? I haven’t either, so, I have taken it upon myself to pioneer this phrase. Destination weddings, destination wedding dresses, and now, “destination wedding favors”. I like it!

So what is a destination wedding favor? Something affordable, something practical, something memorable, but something “packable”.

Let’s face it…you will be travelling. The last thing you need to worry about is the safe keeping of your wedding favors. You need favors that are not perishable, breakable or bulky. Something that you can easily slip into your luggage knowing that it will “make the trip” safely.

Candles and candy may melt, glass can break and larger items just take up too much space in the suitcase!

So what is a destination bride to do?

Here are a few ideas for the perfect “destination wedding favor”…

* Silver plated luggage tags shaped like airplanes and cruise ships. What could be more perfect for your destination wedding guests?

* A “scratch and win” lottery ticket tucked inside a pretty glassine envelope is a fun idea.

* Wedding CD’s are becoming very popular. Make your own. Include your wedding song, a favorite photo or two and a personal “thank you” on your disc.

* Make personalized bookmarkers. Design them to include a photo, your wedding date and a thank you note signed by the two of you. Once you are happy with the design, duplicate it, laminate it and dress it up with a tassle or an organza bow. You could use the same idea to create refridgerator magnets.

* Palm or paper folding fans make lovely favors that can be easily decorated to match any theme.

* Personalized pens, pencils or playing cards are something your guests can use.

* Flower seed favors are a happy reminder of your cherished day when planted.

* Paperweights are an attractive, useful memento.

Here is the perfect destination wedding favor – “Mini Books”. These exquisite little books come in a variety of topics from wine tasting to humor. Bound in hardcover and customized by you, these tiny collectables make a very elegant gift that your guests will treasure. Compact, unbreakable and perfectly “packable”! You can find them at

Whether you buy your wedding favors or make them, you don’t have to spend a fortune. They are an expression of your thanks to your guests for having shared your special day with you. Your guests will value the sentiment of your gift, not the cost.

I will leave you with one last thought…

Although giving wedding favors is a nice gesture, it is not a necessity!

If you find yourself needing to cut corners to stay within your budget, this is definitely a practice that could be overlooked without guilt. Few will even notice the absence of wedding favors!

Consider this…

Have you ever helped someone to clean up after a wedding? If you have, you will know that after and evening of wedding festivities, many guests do not even remember to take their wedding favor home with them!


The Basics Of Planning Your Wedding

Planning a wedding is one of the most exciting, and yet one of the most nerve wracking, times in any person’s life. There are many things that must be done in order to successfully host a wedding and the reception.

It is important to start planning as early as possible to make sure your big day is even more special than you have always imagined.

== The Rings ==

Of course, choosing the ring is a vital part of any wedding planning. After all, the exchange of rings is what seals the ceremony and makes the couple man and wife.

Most couples will want to shop for their wedding bands together, so that they can agree on a style and setting. With so many different metals and finishes available, this process may take longer than you think. Be sure to leave plenty of time for this important part of your wedding.

== The invitations ==

The happy couple will of course want to include as many family members and friends in their celebration as possible, and this means ordering and mailing perhaps hundreds of invitations for a large wedding.

No matter how many guests you are expecting, it is important to allow plenty of time for your guests to RSVP. Having an accurate count of the number of guests will make other parts of planning your wedding, such as ordering the food and renting the reception hall, much easier.

== Food ==

Speaking of food, you will need to make sure you have plenty of it on hand for your guests to enjoy. Finding a caterer who has experience planning wedding receptions is important, as these caterers may be more sensitive to your specific time frame and needs.

== The Reception ==

The party afterward is a big part of any wedding celebration, and you will want to make sure you rent a hall with plenty of space, elegance and style.

Having an accurate count of how many guests will attend the reception will help you greatly in your planning. As with other aspects of wedding planning, it is important to start looking for a place to hold the reception as early as possible.

== The Cake ==

A wedding cake is no ordinary pastry – it is the centerpiece of your celebration and a work of art.

It is vital to find a cake decorator who is skillful and artistic, as well as a first class baker. Again, planning early and getting references is important.

== The Dress ==

Last but certainly not least is the wedding dress itself. A wedding dress is probably the most important piece of clothing a woman will ever own, and choosing just the right wedding dress is a vital part of planning any wedding.

Shopping around and scouring your favorite bridal magazines for ideas, is a great way to make sure you find the wedding dress of your dreams.


Wife smarter than husband?

Is it safe for a wife to be smarter than her husband?
Of course! Men who cannot afford social ornaments sometimes want inferior wives. Why? Often because they harbor a great sense of inferiority. Therefore at all economic levels there are some men who want apparently weak and docile women whom they can dominate completely, who will not put up any arguments, and who will do as they are told without any “ifs,” “ands,” or “buts.” Likewise there are women who either want to be dominated, or who are so eager to marry that they will do so under such circumstances.
What about the “ordinary man” who has no serious feelings of inadequacy, and who cannot afford, and does not desire a social ornament? Does he demand that his wife not have too many brains?
Certainly he wants her to be intelligent enough to do her job well. He does not want to feel ashamed of her because of her stupidity. Actually, too, the marriage will turn out more successfully if the wife is smart enough to be interesting, and to help develop satisfying personal relationships.
Still, the man usually does not want to feel inferior to his wife. But feeling inferior is not the same as being inferior. Some men have a quiet pride in a wife who is smarter, provided that she is smart enough not to make him appear and feel inferior, especially in front of his friends.
Some men, like some women, want others to run things for them. This desire may result from an unwillingness to assume responsibilities. It may come from a deep-seated desire to be dominated. Whatever its basis, there are men who want to be dominated by their wives. In such cases, both of them should know it in advance.
The problem is not limited to what men in general, or this man in particular, may want. There is also social demand. The boy and the girl who plan marriage should have a clear understanding of what the entire situation actually is, including its contradictions which they must somehow resolve.
Our culture expects the husband to be intellectually superior to his wife. Yet actually, he is not and in many cases cannot be. By the law of chances, there will be almost as many wives who are superior to their husbands, as husbands who are superior to their wives. So what to do?
In real life the situation does not work out too badly. Vocationally, the wife usually becomes side-tracked while she is bearing and rearing the children. With a twenty-year advantage, even a relatively inferior husband can usually manage to keep ahead. And as a result of the differences in what society expects, the wife usually runs with the throttle only partly open.
While the husband is advancing himself vocationally, or rising in his company, the wife busies herself getting up church suppers and organizing flower shows which consume her time and energy, but do not show up in either the pay check or her vocational standing.
Yet such advantages are not always enough to keep the husband ahead. If the difference in ability is marked, it speedily becomes known.
Such a situation may be concealed by a polite little conspiracy to maintain the fiction of male superiority, but everyone knows to whom to go, to get things done. In our day this fiction is becoming more difficult to maintain.
More and more wives are going back to work as soon as their children are old enough to be left by themselves, and are getting real money and recognition.
In some instances, the wife will outstrip her husband. The problem often becomes a real issue at the time when her income exceeds his.
My feeling is that the soundest marriages are those in which husband and wife are on about the same level of intelligence. We may think that the problem will be serious, only if the girl is markedly superior, but this is by no means necessarily true. The girl who marries a man who is intellectually far superior may face problems quite as serious. She will be safer if she chooses a man more nearly on her own level, so that through the years the relationship can most easily be maintained.
There is just as much chance that the wife will be superior to the husband, as the other way around. All who marry should face this fact. Actually there is no more justification for a man feeling embarrassed because his wife is superior, than there is for a wife to feel embarrassed because her husband excels her.
In any case, character and personality are far more important, provided each of the couple is intelligent enough to do a good job.


Paradise Design and Photography of Las Vegas

Paradise Design and Photography is a family-owned business. Born in Maui, Hawaii, Joshua developed a love for photography while working in photo labs in his native country. As his expertise grew, he moved to Las Vegas and soon became one of the sought-after Las Vegas photographers. Assisted by wife Jennifer and daughter Ruth, the family have expanded their Las Vegas wedding photography business to include graphic design, publication preparation, digital photographic retouching, and catalog designs.

A member of the Professional Photographers of America, this Las Vegas photographer can process head shots, family portraits, and wedding portfolios. While it is not difficult to find a Las Vegas wedding photographer, Paradise strives to be among the area’s best.

Prices begin with the tuberose package at the rate of $800 for up to a three-hour shoot and $400 in album credit. With digital files the price slides up to $1,000. From four to nine hours, the price increases from $1,200 to $2,300. After that, there is a $400 hourly rate. Customers also can buy a standard or a storybook album that holds from 30 to 60 pages. Prices start at $1,300 and can go to $3,900 or higher, depending on the number and size of shots that are selected for inclusion.

This Las Vegas wedding photographer also posts a supplemental wedding price list on the Website featuring typical individual picture prices or small packets of the usual Las Vegas photography for weddings and other occasions. Here you can browse additional options for wedding pictures much like those offered by one or another photographer in Las Vegas. Prices include an 8×10 for $20 or two wallets for $10.

Additional services include wedding invitations and digital files that include usage fees of $25 to $50. Custom thank-you cards are available at varied rates, with 100 for $1.55 each. Duplicate proof sets are $75. A 50% deposit is required at the time an order is placed, with the balance due when the photos are delivered. The studio retains the right to use or display any images from your order for promotional purposes.

Engagement photo sessions in the region are available, with travel fees of $25 to $100 added for destinations to the Valley of Fire or Lake Las Vegas, and a few others. Currently the site advertises 30% off all wedding photography through June 30, 2005.

Visit the site for details and comparison shop with other photography sites to find the most suitable package to fit your wedding plans.


7 Mistakes New New Wives Make That Can Ruin a Marriege

If you are going to tie the knot soon, you need to know some of the worst mistakes most new wives make that can ruin a marriage. It may seem these mistakes are not so serious and they couldn’t affect your marriage, but they actually can. Avoid the following mistakes to have a happy and solid marriage.

1-Saying Insulting things
Even if you didn’t argue with your sweetheart before marriage, you’re going to fight after tying the knot. When you do, make sure you don’t say insulting things that you would not have said before marriage. I always recollect my parents’ behavior in such cases – for more than 20 years of marriage they didn’t use a single offensive word to each other. And I consider such relations to be a role-model. If you have a violate quarrel with your man, tell him what exactly made you angry. However, don’t use insulting words no matter how angry you are. They will be especially offensive if you touch upon his weak points that you have already learnt. This is a sure way to ruin your relationship. Plus, he would definitely not appreciate such changes after getting married. I would advise you to nip this tendency in bud. Just imagine that your lover says offensive things to you. I think you would hardly forgive him. He feels the same when you do it. Sure, you can apologize later, but you can’t take your offensive words back. And even your regret couldn’t help the situation. Always think twice before saying something. Remember, that one day your insults could be the last drop.

2- Taking out the trash
Perhaps it sounds silly, but this little thing can cause lots of problems in your marriage. Do you want to take the trash out all the time? Don’t do it. Let your husband take out trash, he might do it without fights. For example, I like to leave little funny messages on the fridge if I want to remind my sweetheart something important. A funny sentence on a pink piece of paper cannot irritate anybody. And it works! The main point here is the way you formulate the sentence. Try to avoid categorical forms and use loving words and smileys instead. Another way to solve the problem is to establish a schedule. Take turns in this duty and nobody will get offended. In any case, don’t slam the door, don’t break cups or blackmail! If you want to have a strong and happy family, you shouldn’t get angry at trifles. Think logically, if you cannot agree on this childish thing, what will happen when more serious issues arise? Develop a habit of taking out a trash each morning when you go to work. Just put the pack by the door. Be sure, he won’t forget to take it. This simple tip will help to make your family life a bit easier.

Just because you tied the knot doesn’t mean you should stop flirting. If you do it, the magic of love will begin disappearing. Most wives believe they don’t have to keep things fun when they are married, but they’re mistaken. I love sending flirty texts to my hubby and flirting with him after work. This helps to keep things fresh between us.
Another way to refresh your feelings is dating. Do you remember when you went out last time? Was it shopping? Trust me, a date is a great chance to remember the beginning of your relationship. Your date will become even more interesting if you get ready for it separately from your sweetheart. If you have children, get a baby sitter or ask your parents to look after them for one evening, so that you can relax and concentrate on each other.
I’m also crazy about little cute presents and surprises! They are very effective if I want to apologize for a little squabble. When my hubby and I want to go through our memories again, we start watching our vacation videos, wedding photos and telling old stories to each other. I am always surprised at how our feelings rekindle with new force. Make use of these tips to refresh your own relationship.

4-Talking over chores
Taking over all of the chores, including the finances, is another mistake almost every new wife makes. At the beginning of the marriage, both of you will think that it’s great when a wife takes over the finances, but it will actually wear on you later. Try to make decisions together. Moreover, it can be offensive for him as a man when you take care of everything by yourself. It can lead to his indifference and irresponsibility. And you will soon blame him for unconcern. Here are some rules that exist in my family. Budget is an important aspect of any family. That’s why we think together how to spend money regarding our priorities. The next activity we share is household duties. From the very beginning we used to do everything together. For instance, when I cook dinner, my husband puts everything in order. Or, when he goes shopping, I clean the house.
When we moved in a new flat, it required certain repairs. You won’t believe, but this common activity was such a fun! I didn’t even think it was a hard work. Moreover, common activity is a very good way to refresh your feelings. Teach each other your hobbies and the results will be amazing.

5-Disliking his family
It’s really one of the worst mistakes a new wife can make. There is no sense to dislike his family since they are the people who brought up your spouse. Only due to them he is the man you fell in love with. Only due to them he has such a character, manners and life views. If you love him, learn to respect his family.
Don’t make an enemy of your husband’s mom, dad, his sibling or his best friend. Remember, he loves his family as well as his friends and even though he might side with you if there’s a conflict, you must avoid making this mistake. Moreover, do not try to limit the time he intends to spend with them. They are an important part of his life, thus you have no moral right to forbid him to see his family. To defuse tension, invite your own parents. In such a big company, your chances to have a conflict with his mother are minimal.
Be kind and polite to his family and try to love them all. They will definitely love you and appreciate you for it. Moreover, you can find much in common with his mom. They say that men get married to women who resemble them their moms. So, why not make use of it?

6-Begrudging your husband time with friends
I know you want to spend more time with your sweetheart as a new wife, but don’t begrudge him time with his buddies. It’s important that you spend quality time together, but you should also spend some time with your friends. I always try not to dissolve in my relations. Even being married, you should have some private space. When your husband goes out, just make plans of your own and have fun too. I like to use this time for my skin and body treatment. When I am alone at home nobody bothers me or mocks at my green face with cucumber mask. When my husband spend time with his friends, I can accomplish those procedures that I don’t want him to observe. For example, it’s a great time for waxing, applying masks, manicure and pedicure or dyeing my hair. Only imagine, he comes back home and sees you refreshed, beautiful and charming. As a variant, I use this time to visit my parents and meet my friends. I know, it sounds weird, but other people only enrich your life and help to keep relationship stronger. You will have more topics to discuss and to lough at. It’s always a great idea to take a break in your own communication. Thus, the next time that he makes an appointment with his buddies, wish him to have lots of fun.

7-Forgetting about your friends
When it comes to friends, a marriage is not a reason to give up your close friends. You need them and they need you. I had a close friend who forgot about our friendship after she got married. Now, when she is in the process of divorce, she calls me and wants to be my best friend again, but I actually don’t want to have such friend though I wish you all the best. Do not make such an irreparable mistake and try to remember when you meet your friends last time. I think it’s high time to call them.


Communication in a Relationship

Communication is a vital part of our lives: a typical day involves many interactions between ourselves, our work colleagues and clients, our children, our friends, our ex’s, future relationships, etc. This interaction takes place where we live, work, relax, socialize and wherever we perform routine tasks.

Communication skills are critical for building healthy relationships, especially when one realizes that one of the most common causes of relational breakdown is a lack of communication. Just as communication can be the most important part of a relationship; arguments can be the most destructive aspect – the closer we are to someone, the more easily we can bruise or be bruised. There is very little truth in the saying: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never harm me.” It’s not what we say, but rather how we say it, that most often hurts another person.

Do you identify with any of these statements?

“He never listens to me when I talk!”

“She talks and talks, but never actually says anything!”

“It’s like talking to a brick wall”

“I can’t get through to you”

“We can’t talk about anything important without getting into a fight”

“She’s too emotional – she’s either crying or shouting or complaining. It’s easier to avoid her”

“He always gets defensive when I try to talk about issues”

Communication is a complex process; of which speaking only makes up for 10-20%. The other 80-90% is made up by facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, etc.

Communication is the art/ science of transferring a thought/ idea/ information from the mind of one complex human being to the mind of one or more complex human being(s). For communication to be effective, it must be a two-way process.

Dynamics of Interpersonal Communication

1. Facts: are both people communicating about the same set of facts? Try to separate the facts from thoughts or feelings.

2. Interpretations, Thoughts or Perceptions: Each person interprets a fact differently based on their belief system, personality, values and experience.

3. Feelings: how we are feeling, our current mood and frame of mind, etc can sub-consciously affect decisions and thoughts.

4. Intentions, Needs or Wants: hidden agendas; are we looking for comfort, clarification, information or simply a chance to interact? We judge ourselves on our intentions.

5. Actions: choice of words (is the intent to create harm?) + tone of voice + non-verbal speech = body language, posture, eye contact, facial expressions, etc.

“The medium is the message” => the way the message is delivered is the message itself.

6. Self: The communication centre, which includes the issue, topic or conflict at hand, has been “filtered” by the facts, interpretations, thoughts, feelings, intentions, and choices of behaviour / actions.

Listening and Feedback

Did I say what I meant to say? – Invite feedback to clarify communication.

Someone who’s not listening lets their mind drift and is already preparing the next argument or opposing thought; inaccurate feedback or limited eye contact.

Listening is an active, not a passive process. When two people argue, they only hear “what they want to hear”, not what’s actually said. This equates to the accusation of “not listening”. Most couples start arguing and within 5 minutes are arguing about the way they are arguing.

Don’t argue when you’re angry – you will not be able to listen objectively. Give yourself time to cool down and then broach the subject when you are in a more reasonable frame of mind.

It’s important to give feedback – checking and confirming. Did I understand you correctly? Is this what you mean? I heard you say this: am I right? Feedback can be verbal / non-verbal e.g. a nod, smile, silence or a cold shoulder. No feedback is in itself a form of feedback.

If the words and actions contradict each other, it is better to believe the actions!

Conflict Resolution

Conflict resolution can either be Constructive or Destructive.

Destructive Style – hinders or inhibits the conflict resolution process:

Confrontational (win or lose, blaming)

Sabotage (focus on weak points, shaming)

Manipulation (blackmail, withdrawal)

Giving in (passive, submissive)

Avoidance (denial, withdrawal)

Constructive Style � trying to minimize the issues and avoiding the difficulties in resolving the problems:

Compromise (meet halfway, understanding)

Accommodate (open discussion, communication without confrontation)

Partnership (solutions, forgiveness, honesty)

When trying to resolve conflicts, try to clarify your goals, as you will probably share many of the same goals despite of your differences. Avoid bargaining, as this may lead to each party taking a rigid position which in turn can flare tempers.

When resolving conflicts, remember that their causes may run deep. Sweeping issues under the carpet isn�t going to work in the long term, as old baggage will be brought up each time an argument starts. Try to fully resolve each issue as it comes along. You may find the following method useful:

1. Ask the other person for their feelings. Your conflict probably isn�t about the issue that caused it to start in the first place. Don�t forget that your goal is sorting out the problem, not winning an argument!

2. Ask the other person to define the problem. Stick to solving one problem at a time, that way you can understand each problem as the other person sees it.

3. Express your own feelings. Be careful to word them carefully, for example use phrases such as �I feel�� rather than �I think you��

4. Define the problem as you see it. As your feelings come out, the solution may become clearer. Remember that by you listening to the other person; you will have set the tone for them to listen to you.

5. Create multiple solutions. Don�t go back to your original agenda. Aim to find alternative or creative solutions that reduce emotions and tension.

6. Rate the possible solutions. Remember that no one can force an unacceptable solution on the other.

7. Combine and create a mutually acceptable solution. Create something acceptable to both parties, if this doesn�t work � go back to step 1 and ensure both parties are being totally honest.

8. Be sure both parties agree to work towards resolving the issue.

Troubleshooting For Problems in Communication

Control or Power Issues: Effective communication cannot take place if one person has “control” over the other or where there is not mutual respect and equality of relationship. To stay in control leads to relational isolation as the underdog reacts in anger at being manipulated or belittled.

Triangulation: Do not bring in a third party to avoid direct confrontation. If you have a problem with someone, go directly to that person. Don’t dump your accusations on mutual friends or your children in the hope of winning support to balance the scales in your favour – it leads to more substantial and long-lasting damage, especially when a child is used as a weapon between parents.

19 Steps to Effective Communication

1. See communication as an opportunity to praise, build-up, affirm, heal, support and give positive reinforcement, rather than to correct, criticise, tear down, hurt, wound, lash out at. Praise opens doors to further communication, while criticism shuts them down.

2. Remember that actions speak louder than words; non-verbal communication usually is more powerful than verbal communication. Avoid double messages in which the verbal and the non-verbal messages convey something contradictory. (Credibility gap)

3. Define what is important and stress it; define what is unimportant and de-emphasise or ignore it. Avoid fault-finding.

4. Communicate in ways that show respect for the other person�s worth as a human being. �Avoid statements which begin with the words �You never �� or �I think you ��.

5. Be clear and specific in your communication. Avoid vagueness.

6. Be realistic and reasonable in your statements. Avoid exaggeration and sentences which begin with �You always ��

7. Test all your assumptions verbally by asking if they are accurate. Avoid acting until this is done.

8. Recognize that each event can be seen from different points of view. Avoid assuming that other people see things like you do. (Perception)

9. Recognize that your family members and close friends are experts on you and your behaviour. Avoid the tendency to deny their observations about you � especially if you are not sure.

10. Recognize that disagreement can be a meaningful form of communication. Avoid destructive arguments.

11. Be honest and open about your feelings and viewpoints. Bring up all significant problems even if you are afraid that doing so will disturb another person. Speak the truth in love. Avoid sullen silences.

12. Do not put down and/or manipulate the other person with tactics such as ridicule, interrupting, name-calling, changing the subject, blaming, bugging, sarcasm, criticism, pouting, guilt-inducing, etc. Avoid the one-upmanship game.

13. Be more concerned about how your communication affects others than about what you intended. Avoid getting bitter if you are misunderstood.

14. Accept all feelings and try to understand why others feel and act as they do. Avoid the tendency to say, �you shouldn�t feel like that.�

15. Be tactful considerate and courteous. Avoid taking advantage of the other person�s feelings.

16. Ask questions and listen carefully. Avoid preaching or lecturing.

17. Do not use excuses. Avoid falling for the excuses of others.

18. Speak kindly politely and softly. Avoid nagging yelling or whining.

19. Recognize the value of humour and seriousness. Avoid destructive teasing.


As you look ahead to new relationships, you need to be able to break old and faulty communication patterns to allow for healthier interaction. The use of praise and positive reinforcement will reconstruct wounded and broken self-images and will build self-esteem, particularly in children. By becoming an effective communicator, you will also grow and become a better person which will positively enhance all your relationships.